sweet and bitter

by Josh

Passion [ˈpæʃən]

1. ardent love or affection
2. intense sexual love
3. a strong affection or enthusiasm for an object, concept, etc.
4. any strongly felt emotion, such as love, hate, envy, etc.

I recently had to fill in a form on how happy I am willing to be.
Now, of course you would expect yourself to be ready to be as happy as you can imagine. Yet I could definitely feel something holding me back.
I had second thoughts about putting my little line on the graph next to “off the charts”.
Back then I didn’t know why I put “suprisingly blissful” instead of “off the charts”. Now I am a bit smarter.
Not going after the things I love and that make me happy means safety.
It is soooooo much more convenient to just be content/resignated with what you have already, rather than facing all the emotions you might have to deal with when you are in arms reach of the things you want and fail .
There is no way to live passionately and avoid negative emotions.
Recently I had a few really bad emotional hangovers in the aftermath of very joyful moments.
Only now can I see that they are the back of this hand which is called living passionately.
And this shift of awareness allows me to be content, even proud about my bruises, aching heart and dirty feet.

Live with an open heart, even if it hurts – David Deida