Walk your talk (and apologize if you dont / dont talk so much)
I recently got into a pretty huge argument about the nature of a promise. Until then, to me a promise were only those things I said I would do or not do that included the words “I promise…”.
Unfortunately I have to acknowledge that I was wrong… well partly at least.
Whenever we tell someone else we would take a certain action, we create an expectation.
When I thought it through, I came to the conclusion that it really does not matter at all if one says “I promise” or not. The expectation is just as big.
When you look at the english phrase “to give your word”, which is basically the same as “to promise” then you can see that there is no real difference.
“So does this mean I have to treat everything I say like I gave a promise and rot in the hell of self-accusation if I screw up?”
Not at all, oldtimer!
To me it just means, that I need to be cautious about kindling expectations in others. Too often, we do this, just to please the other person.
“Yeah of course I’ll come” – When we already know that there is no spare time.
Democritus said “word is a shadow of deed”. Translated into the language of our time, you could also say “talk is cheap”.
If you can’t keep your promises, of whatever nature they are, there is a simple formula to regain your integrity.
First, contact the people you had the agreement with, tell them you are sorry, but you can’t meet the expectations. It’s as simple as that. Dont tell stories about why you cant do it. Take full responsibility.
Second, see if you want to renwe your agreement or leave it.
I dear reader, promised in my very first post, to write an entry every ten days. Lately its been a bit more like ten weeks in between posts. I am sorry about that and I can see that this might have affected my credibility negatively.
So from now on, there will be a weekly post, not later than Tuesday morning.
Bring it on!