The Pursuit of Crappiness

by Josh

“Get up there and do it!”, my coach challenged me, “try the backflip from the highbar again”. It is not a very complicated move, you just have to bend your body right when swinging and then let go of the bar at the right moment.

I had done it before alright, (with him and a friend watching out for me) but still I was scared.
This time, I failed quite badly, three consecutive times, with them having to rescue me out of thin air.
Every time, I launched myself back up instantly, pumped with adrenaline, knowing that if I would let my fear stop me I would not try again.
“Ok, Stop, you need to stay calm! Now go and put up the small bar”, my Coach told me.
I was really frustrated. 
Now that I had put in so much effort, I was told to put up the “kids” bar
(at least that’s what I called it  in my mind).
What made it worse was the fact that all my friends had managed to do it.
I was full of anger and bad feelings, rehearsing cursewords and battleplans in my head.
The good thing is, I didn’t act it out in any way.
Sometimes it is good to act very immediate in response, but as goofy as that may sound, it is good to take some deep breaths first.
So I breathed and paid attention to the noise in my head and the turmoil in my guts.
After I had sent a few hundred men into certain death in the soggy trenches of internal battle, I understood.
Those are feelings of growth, feelings that tell us we are stretching.
They are the by-product of a pursuit that is worth it.
This is what champions, legends and anyone who strives for greatness repeatedly feel.
Disappointment, frustration, rejection.
From now on they shall become my steady companions and dear friends.
I will make them part of my toolbox, together with the compass of my fear, pointing me in the direction of my greatest force multipliers.
These feelings of failure can indicate if the things we are trying ourselves at are truly challenging us, or if we are just faffin’ about.

That said, of course this should be linked to areas or pursuits that are utterly important to you, or that you are passionate about.
I am not talking about the the frustration of having forgotten to top-up the crack supply.

“All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.” – Scott Alexander