What’s missing in ‘fake it ’til you make it’

by Josh

Good… night I guess, at 4am…
Talking to my friend Olivier, I realized earlier how useful it is to “fake it ’til you make it’.

Let me explain. So, there is the person you already are.
And you are perfect as you are, no doubt about it.
But you have a feeling there might be more to you than you already know.
This is why so many young people go travelling. Not because you get to see awesome places around the world (though that’s great), but to see yourself in different social environments. 
When nobody knows you, you can claim to be a tap-dancin pimp from Denmark if you want to.
To me, this is the true magic of travelling. Trying on new suits.
Getting up in the morning and asking yourself “Who do I want to be today?”

But Josh!”, you say ” “I can’t claim to be anything, if I claim to be a tap-dancin pimp, people will eventually find out that I am not”.
And you are right.
The idea of “fake it ’til you make it” is great (and the catchy slogan!), but it is missing the fact that you can be honest about the fact that you are faking.
The important thing is that you give it your best shot.

Just a small example:
A few months back I was hosting a guy from Turkey as a couch surfer.
I was having another go at leanring Turkish at that time and we knew each other a little bit.
He wanted to stay for two weeks, my room is rather small and to be frank: “i really didn’t feel it bro!”
Inside I cringed, I didn’t want to give up my private sphere, my space, my precious time.
But I knew that I want to be that kind of person. To be generous, to make people feel welcome and to learn more Turkish.
So I said yes.
But I was also honest about my silly little narrow-minded concerns, also about that being sincere I found them silly and narrow minded.
In the end, of course it was pretty nice actually and we had a good ol’ time.

But the important thing was to act like the person I wanted to be rather than the person I felt I was.

When you feel drawn to do something in the future that you don’t feel ready (or tall, or smart or fast or confident enough) for, remember who you would like to be, then act accordingly.
But be authentic about it (as in “You know, I feel really silly saying this, but….”).

Image

Advertisements