cut the crap: stop being so friendly

by Josh

tumblr_ly4e6cNcFT1r4j9j4o1_1280
You know the situation.
You are at a party, chatting away when a bunch of  new people enter, and start to introduce themselves.
To EVERY single person in the room.
As they shake hands and exchange pleasantries, you start to wonder how many of those names they will actually remember.

Remembering names is a skill that few people naturally possess.
“I’m really bad with names”
Here’s a question for you:
Why do you even ask?
I’ve begun not asking people for their names straight away.
Often, I don’t even tell my own name.
Why?
Because it allows me to focus on more important things (this is minimalism!).
It takes away the pressure of having to remember and the awkwardness of having to ask again.
Sure, you can challenge yourself to remember all names.
But unless you are inclined to do so, you can save yourself a lot of awkwardness by not asking.
don’t whistle when you meet people

Are you even interested in:
Names? Jobs? University subjects? or whatever else people use to fill the silence?

How are you?
If you are not willing to genuinely listen for at least 5 minutes after this question, don’t ask it.

You will notice, that if you don’t fill every space with babble or the like, you might end up paying more attention to the communication which is beyond words.
Body language, tone of voice, skin tone, eye movements, breath and even your own physical reactions to the other persons can tell you so much more than “hows it going?”.
Don’t be rude, but don’t act like a social robot either.
Suddenly an interaction could go like this:
Don’t tell me your name, most likely I will forget it. Instead you could tell me what it is that you like about your life
Chances are that then, you will remember the name, too. If you want.

Advertisements